SQUAD

The current Boundary Estate squad is:

Andrew Knapp: A summer 2015 signing, Knapp is a Yorkshire lad, comfortable in any midfield position. Always up for a filthy tackle and an argument with a referee. Will always produce 100% effort and is quite prepared to leave blood and sweat all over the pitch. Will generally fight, battle and get booked for the cause.

Anthony Bridger: Bridger joined Boundary Estate early on in the 2015/16 season and scored on his debut. Bridger has a keen turn of pace and will be an even more valued addition to the squad once he regains match fitness. He looked ready to throw up on his debut, moments before scoring a vital equaliser.
 
Anu Sharma: A wonderful energetic player who has spent much of his Boundary career languishing at full-back. Has always insisted he is much more of a left-footed right-winger but circumstances meant that he has mainly been forced to shore up the defence since signing for the club. The proud owner of two paper ankles, ruined further by having to play the full 90 as we have no subs. Again.

Ben Harrison: Harrison is a fine winger or striker and has been at the club since the 2012/13 season. In fact, it was Harrison's errant golf ball that smashed a car window during the summer 2013 end of season party. It was also that night that he met the woman who would later become his fiancée. Harrison is also the player who cycles the longest distance to Sunday morning games, which may or may not have something to do with his dodgy hamstrings.

Ben Stapley: Currently hasn't played in the 2015/16 season after dislocating his shoulder in the club's first foray into a summer league. It took around 25 minutes of the summer league season for Stapley to be ruled out for pretty much the rest of 2016. He paid £36.50 for those 25 minutes (the club is planning to pay him back but hasn't quite got there yet).

Ben Watson: A former player of the season who can play pretty much all over the pitch other than GK. Always one to have a strop when the chips are down, Watson abandoned much of the last two Boundary Estate FC seasons to take part in long distance running - we are told he is quite good at that. Our Ben Watson is not the former Wigan Athletic captain, he's better.

Conor Hardy: Having joined the club in 2013/14, the Irishman can play on either wing or at full back. Hardy should also be commended for the travel time he puts into turning up at every match.

Daniel Bowmar: Bowmar is an excellent CB who everybody enjoys playing alongside as chances are he will bail you out of a sticky situation. Timed his move to the club exactly right, as Rick Jameson had decided to take more of a back seat role. Bowmar is the first choice CB alongside club captain, Pegg, and the two make a domineering partnership.

George Corden: Corden signed for the club during the summer of 2015 and quickly established himself as the quality ball-playing CM he is. His free kick and corner delivery is second to none and has been one of the most prolific goalscorers for the club so far in 2015/16. Is obviously class because he plays for a Saturday league team.
 
Greg Double: The self-titled 'Podgy Pirlo' can pick a pass from 70 yards and likes a good tackle in the middle of midfield. Double (pronounced Doo-blay) is also the club's third choice GK and has the unfortunate distinction of being a Reading fan. A PR man by trade.

Jack Pegg: Club captain Pegg missed much of 2014/15 having sliced his own finger off whilst cutting Artisan bread on the eve of the new season. Has been with the club since its inception and is a real leader, on and off the pitch. His career highlights include leading the club to its only ever cup final at the end of the 2010/11 season and being partly responsible for losing the white goal nets at the end of the 2012/13 season.

Joe Burdon: Another new signing for the 2015/16 season, Burdon is a class act in the middle of midfield, who demands class from others alongside him. A footballing footballer who demands the simple ball, and leads the attacks from a quarterback position.

Jordan Stirland: Stirland was ruled out of much of the 2014/15 season after being sliced open during the opening match of the season. Is back in contention for a regular starting spot now and is one of the club's growing classy midfield options.
 
Lewis Clayton: The oldest player in the squad, Clayton will always be happy to receive a booking. Over the past three years he has only received less yellow cards than one player.

Nick Grounds: Now in his seventh season for the club, Nick Grounds has always been a solid striker with a decent goalscoring record. He is one of the longest serving players and always has the top gossip from his day job at Sky Sports News. In fact, since playing for the SSN team his hamstring related Boundary absences have increased.

Nick Harvey: Harvey was signed towards the end of the 2014/15 season and has been a valuable addition to the side. He has been wasted on either wing for much of the 2015/16 season but is adept in the middle of midfield and has recently staked a claim for a striking position. Harvey lives up to his name of Harvey Nichols by being one of the most polite lads you will ever come across.

Pete Kelly: By far the most likely to arrive at a game up to half and hour after kick off or even not at all. Kelly's seasons are punctuated by loan spells in the Alps but he is a valuable attacking centre midfielder when he does play. A highlight of the 2015/16 season came when he was bringing the nets to a 10.30am kick off. Having been woken by a phone call at 10.25am, Kelly told us to put him on the bench. The game kicked off at 11am once the nets had arrived.

Rick Jameson: The former first choice centre back spends much of his weekend time in the north these days. As such, the quality defender has played just one match of the 2015/16 season.

Sam Kidby: In 2014 Kidby made the very shrewd move of sponsoring the club with his company, Evergreen Reputation. As such, and despite his inadequate number of goals this season, he has retained his place in the starting line-up. He is the first in the toilet on a Sunday morning. Kidby is the club's second choice GK.

Severin Rupprechter: The Austrian international was signed at the tail end of the 2014/15 season. The versatile defensive midfielder can play pretty much anywhere on the pitch. His continued selection in the starting line-up has nothing to do with Repprechter being employed by club sponsor, Evergreen.
 

Stefan Swift: The 31-year-old veteran defender has still never won a winners medal in any football competition ever in his 24-year playing career. The most recent disappointment came in Boundary Estate's 2011 cup final appearance which ended in a 4-0 defeat. This cultured right-footed defender usually plays left-back because the right-back is better. Been a Boundary player since March 2011 and reluctant club sec since 2013.

Stuart Cooper: Cooper's long throws have earned legendary status on the Marshes and he has been for many years the club's main or sole supplier of goals. Boundary Estate's management structure has repeatedly turned down the £10 admin fee offered by other clubs for his services. He has not featured as much in the 2015/16 after having relocated to New Cross, over an hour away from Hackney Marshes by public transport. His absence has meant the club has had to find new ways of scoring, and has mainly failed.

Taymaz Rad: A super speedy winger who picked up a MOTM award on his debut for the club in 2015/16. The award was made more remarkable by the fact he finished work the morning before the game at 4am; drove home to Milton Keynes; and returned for the 10.30am kick off. Earlier than many of the other players.

Toby Grainger: The club's player of the season in 2013/14 spent most of last season nursing a broken wrist having fallen from a tree after drinking too much alcohol. His return to the starting XI has coincided with his new role as chief scout. Can play pretty much anywhere on the pitch and is a real leader. Is currently the club's vice captain.

Tom Bennett: Boundary Estate's first choice goalkeeper is the first name on the team sheet when available. His most famous moment came when he accompanied the Arsenal ladies team on their tour of Japan. Word got around that he was the Boundary Estate number 1 and he spent the entire trip signing autographs. Bennett will always hilariously plead with opposing players not to push him at corners. His most famous Boundary moment came when he was on the FRONT PAGE of the Camden New Journal.

Tom Strasser-Neuhofer: Another of the club's overseas contingent, Strasser-Neuhofer has the most exotic name across the entire squad. Has featured quote heavily on the left wing during his first season at the club (2015/16) and has become famous for his foul throw hit rate.